on Touch

I was reading today in a book I picked up about yoga, and it mentioning how essential physical touch is to humans. I went about my day in new york, navigating the subways, walking through parks, waiting in line at the grocery store, even going to therapy, and I realized, I didn't touch anyone! Even the merest brush of an arm against another causes people to shy away! when you sit on the subway people scoot over so as to give you more space but really, so that they will not touch you. This week I was on the train at one point during rush hour, and there was human touch, the inevitable bumping into each other as the train swayed and it annoyed me! I hated that some other sweaty person was leaning on me and I couldn't wait for the ride to be over and the doors to open.


But i think the other extreme is that so many people Only touch as a prelude to sexual interaction. Even then the touch is often minimal. There is a rush to just get down to the business of intercourse. Many people have intercourse which you would think is the ultimate form of close physical intimacy, without really touching! Parts of their body touch, but it is for a purpose for one selfish goal of reaching a climax of energy and then the two may go on their way. In this culture sex has become impersonal. Sex is everywhere, on tv in the movies on billboards in clothing stores in music, and its just about attraction and pleasure-achieving a goal of pleasure, not enjoying pleasure. Even sex feels like something one has to do in society to achieve a certain status or external approval of their own attractiveness which translates for many into their own worth.

It seems like people only use actual touch if they are very deeply connected lovers, or maybe just starting out with a new lover, but really it seems rare.
I have found that among female friends there is more touching. Girls will hug each other or link arms or use body language including touch. But males rarely, hardly ever touch each other because of the constant pervasiveness of homophobia. Females and males do not touch often unless there is a sexual undertone. Its like to touch a friend of the opposite sex for anything more than a friendly hug, creates all types of confusing messages.
In other cultures, for example where people kiss on the cheek whenever they see each other, touch is much more of a norm. and people seem happier and more comfortable.


Yoga is all about being IN touch with yourself and touching yourself, some of the poses require you to hug yourself or hold your feet, and i think this is also an important aspect.


I like the parallel between being "in touch" and touching...there is a reason they are the same word...