Tuesday, March 23, 2010

coping steps I found on a site that were helpful and made sense

 http://www.wikihow.com/Cope-With-Emotional-Pain



1Don't try to cure normal. Emotional pain is caused by any number of events: death of a loved one, a breakup, thoughtlessness or cruelty on the part of others. When you're hurting because of any of the above, accept that it's normal to feel hurt. Let's face it: if a loved one dies, what sort of cold person just goes about his business as if all were well? If you love someone and that person dumps you, it's natural that you would feel hurt, angry, scared. These things are normal. Trying to cure what is normal is pointless. So expect to feel pain for a while - it's normal.

2Don't pretend you don't feel it. And don't try to rush through this season of pain. Even though all you can really think about is ending the pain, the truth is that just allowing yourself the feelings is important. Masking your pain when you're trying to work or just get through each day may be necessary to a point, but make sure to allow yourself some "me-time" - some time to allow yourself to really feel all of the feelings you are having, rather than just suppressing and denying them.3Identify all of your feelings. Are you just heartbroken? Or are you angry, too? Maybe just the tiniest bit relieved - which is also making you feel guilty? Do you feel betrayed? Insecure? Afraid? Giving some thought to exactly how you are feeling can be very helpful in processing all of your emotions in the wake of a traumatic or life-changing event.4Endure it. Things that cannot be cured must be endured. It sounds obvious, but sometimes, thinking of emotional pain as if it were physical pain can be very helpful. Think of your broken heart just as if it were your arm that is broken instead. A broken arm takes time to heal, and it hurts like crazy just after it's broken, even after it's been set and casted. A few days later, it doesn't hurt so much. But weeks or even months later, if you bump or jar it, that pain can come roaring back to life with a vengeance. You baby it a little, take care not to aggravate it, and eventually, it's stronger where it was broken than it was before. You have no choice - you can't cut off the arm (that won't hurt less anyhow). You just have to endure it while it heals.5Talk to someone. There are times when it seems that the hurt you feel inside is just too deep to talk about. You feel like no one could understand. Or maybe you worry because your loved ones didn't share your feelings about whatever it is that's hurting you (maybe they didn't care for your boyfriend, whom you just broke up with, or they didn't know your friend, who passed away). You may be right - they may not totally understand. But right now, it isn't being understood that you need. It's compassion. Your family and friends love you. They see you hurting and want to help. Sometimes, if you will just try to talk out your feelings, say something about what hurts, it can help start your healing. Letting someone put his or her arm around you and hearing them say, "It's going to be okay" may not seem that helpful, but it really is, because it helps you feel you're not totally alone. Realizing that someone wants to be there for you will help.6Get your mind off yourself and how bad you feel. Go out with friends. Tell yourself that you will not talk about your pain for more than a few minutes - you will not bring down the activity by wallowing in it. Distract yourself by just forgetting it for a little while. If you're grieving a death, or heartbroken over a breakup, especially, giving yourself a little time to just be without obsessing on the event that hurts will help you to heal and move past it. That's not to say that you just forget about it and move on - no. It's only to say that even grief needs to take a breather. Give your weary heart a little respite, and let it mend with the love and lightness of heart that comes from being with friends, or doing something that brings you pleasure. There will be time to cry again, but not just now.7Allow time to heal you. This is part of just enduring. You will need to muster up the patience to allow healing to commence. There isn't any substitute for just ... waiting. Time requires one thing: that you allow it to pass.
 
http://www.wikihow.com/Cope-With-Emotional-Pain

Monday, March 22, 2010

puerto rican birth certificates must be renewed

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=124827546

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer


heard this in yoga, really liked it: 

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithful and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, 'Yes.'

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done for the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

National Association of Social Workers

http://www.helpstartshere.org/

really cool oral history project

storycorps.net

I may want to take some courses here

http://www.newyorkmeditationcenter.com/meditation-courses/

Monday, March 8, 2010

a special school

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/07/education/07foster.html


 wow a school that is especially in tune with the home and family situations of its students and focuses on emotional support as much as academic education...this is what we need more of! yay social work

ethnic massacre in nigeria....havent heard anyone talking about it...

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/09/world/africa/09nigeria.html

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

another connection between yoga and trauma survival

I am hoping to get involved with this organization too!


http://www.mandalahouse.org/home.html

Yoga Stretches Terrain for Sex-Trauma Therapy

This article really excited me because it features several organizations which connect the healing powers of yoga and meditation to trauma survivors particularly women. These two areas are very pertinent to me and I am excited to see that others are connecting the two as well!

Yoga Stretches Terrain for Sex-Trauma Therapy