Live the Questions Now

 Don't Search For the Answer

sometimes it can be hard to just live with the questions and accept that there is not yet any confirmation in what the truth will be. One can only continue their life on a day to day basis, wondering but be content with that wonder for it is amazing to have so many options for an answer. I heard this quote after a great, cleansing yoga class and it helped to put my swirling mind at peace, which is constantly the challenge.

"...I would like to beg you dear Sir, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer"

Rainer Maria Rilke, 1903
in Letters to a Young Poet

The story about the Turtles

As I promised to Wise: What is the valuable life lesson we can learn from the sea turtle Arribada? (coming soon)

3 interesting news articles!

Lessons in Tough Love at a Court for Truants

I think this is a good idea, better to scare them with a judge in a suit in middle school, than a couple years later and they are facing juvenile detention centers...even though what we should be asking...is why do so many kids not want to go to school?

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/28/nyregion/28truant.html

Feeling Warehoused in Army Trauma Care Units - NYTimes.com

Maybe I'll do psychotherapy with soldiers coming back from Iraq/Afghanistan... they are going to have a lot of PTSD and they need medical attention thats more than just pills!

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/25/health/25warrior.html

A Yoga Manifesto

This is where I go to Yoga!!! Yoga To The People; donation based, 5 classes offered a day, always a great practice! 

haha I never thought how it must look from the instructors perspective...I wonder if I was there that day, I'm usually next to the wall...

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/25/fashion/25yoga.html

Perspective

put it all in perspective and be grateful for all that you do have and hopeful about what you want the future to look like. its not always easy to stop focusing on the negativity today and the anxiety about what could happen but it is worth it to keep trying

On Patience

Sometimes the only course of progress is to allow Time to plod along. It does not matter what you do or don't do today. The only shreds of truth will appear like flowers, when the conditions are just right for them to poke their heads out of the earth. Nothing can coax them out but the perfect balance of Earth's ingredients of warmth and sunlight. You cannot force the bud to bloom for it will only blossom when it is ready to declare its beauty to the world. 
Patience is the rock being slowly smoothed and polished by the endless flow of water over its surface. Patience is not crossing out each day on the calendar, but being surprised when it comes time to change the month. Patience does not mean waiting around doing nothing until that which you are waiting for materializes. Patience is living your life not knowing if that day will ever come. Patience is controlling your impulses and desires. It is sitting calmly everyday in meditation, ready and willing to recieve the messages from the universe. Patience is not bold or boastful, it is humble and sweet, not eager or excited, it is thorough and mindful. Patience is a virtue of the highest order. 

4 questions

"There are four questions of value in life... 

What is sacred? 


Of what is the spirit made? 


What is worth living for, 


and what is worth dying for? 


The answer to each is the same. 

Only Love.”

dance

"we're fools whether we dance or not so we might as well dance"

 Japanese Proverb

on Outing

A topic has come to mind through various forums this week on the idea of Outing, or disclosure.
With some elements of identity one has the luxury of choosing whether or not to disclose, and others are out there for others to know about right away. Or they are at least visible enough for someone to make an assumption which may or may not be correct. Some examples of these identities are: race, sexual orientation and class. You may or may not be able to tell these accurately just from looking at someone. The person then has a choice to confirm your assumption if you bother to ask, or to answer if you are confused and want to know.
I personally enjoy allowing people to struggle with trying to identify me racially. I like that people do not know "what I am" just by looking at me. It is interesting how humans (including myself) want so badly to classify and organize people with labels and boxes. Hence when I answer the question that I do not actually factually Know my racial make up, it leaves people frustrated but often in a way; intrigued. If I were to say "I am Latina" that would come with a set of expectations and assumptions about me and perhaps create a type of comaraderie with other Latinos. If I say I am Indian, which many people think, that offers another set of assumptions and stereotypes. If I say I am middle-eastern, yet another pile of expectations falls on my head. Even the title of "multi-racial" elicits only further questions because people want to know Which races are combined in you. Since my actual experiences do not fulfill any one stereotype, I enjoy the fact that on the outside the ambiguity reflects my internal mix. The fact that they cannot assign me a box with a set of characteristics makes people have to identify me in a more personal, specific way. 
Class and sexual orientation can be similarly hidden or revealed according to the person's appearance, dress, or company. Even relationship status can affect how others think about you. When do you Out yourself?

What aspects of yourself do people have to ask about or do they make assumptions about? Which facts about you are revealed on the surface and which do you have the choice of bringing up? When and where do you share which parts of your identity and experience?

dont lose yourself

Live your daily life in a way that you never lose yourself. When you are carried away with your worries, fears, cravings, anger, and desire, you run away from yourself and you lose yourself. The practice is always to go back to oneself --Thich Nhat Hanh

stuck in my head on repeat

a poem

A Poem By Maya Angelou

You may shoot me with your words,

You may cut me with your eyes,

You may kill me with your hatefulness,

But still, like air, I'll rise. 

On Fear

It has come to my attention that many of the problems people struggle with come from Fear.  One must ask himself, what Am I Afraid of? what is the worst case scenario? what am I fearing and why am I fearing that? Is it being alone? then the only way to address it is to BE Alone. If the fear is of being outside one's comfort zone, there is no course but to Do it. The fear of "what if" dominates the sky over many anxiety filled heads. Anxiety is controlling, paralyzing, frightening. 

One must undergo Pain, that which he is Afraid of, in order to overcome it. There is no magic pill. There is no easy shortcut. Ignoring or denying it does not dissolve it. The pain curls up in a corner in a cell of your being and waits until it is let out, there is no way to destroy it then by suffering through it. There are protections you can use, practices to dull the ache. But the only way over your fear is through the pain of it. It is not easily accepted. The strength acquired through the process however, is priceless. 

Pura Vida

I've been wanting to go back to Costa Rica (yet again). Costa Rica, how do I describe it, is a gorgeous summer day at a picnic with all your friends and family. Costa rica, La Pura Vida, is peaceful, it's tranquil, its cheerful, its fulfilling, its 

transformational. 

A Melody for Dreams

Try Something New

My teacher for ethnocultural class is a typical head in the clouds professor who doesnt care much about grades but does constantly challenge us to Think and step outside our comfort zones and really study and reflect upon ourselves. A friend of mine is doing a marathon month where every day she must do something new and or something unexpected and unplanned. I think both of these challenges are important to incorporate into our experience on a regular basis. I tried three new things in class the other day; I changed a part of my identity when I introduced myself to experiment with how people would react to that information, I consciously changed my role in a group; in a situation where I normally would take the lead and authority, I let myself observe, and I chose to work with a group of people I did not know at all, instead of gravitating towards the classmates I am more familiar with. I've been trying new things in my personal life as well; meeting new people going to new places, because I was finding myself stuck in a place of monotony and repetition of the same old thoughts. It is a wonder how comfortable we get with what is familiar and safe to us. It really requires a conscious decision to step outside of our usual box and investigate what is in another box, maybe we walk by it everyday but we have never looked inside. 

Being Mindful of what you want

A friend of mine asked me the other day, if she should write a thesis in her senior year of college. I recommended that because she needed to ask that question, she should not write it.
I've heard people saying "I want a tattoo, I just don't know what I want" I would recommend against it.
People also say "I want a relationship" or even "I want to get married" I just don't know with or to Who.

I think the issue with all of these desires is that there is not actually something specific that one wants. One is therefore responding to societal pressures or social expectations. They are creating a fantasy of what they believe they should or could attain and what it will be like therefore they want it. I would be extremely wary in any of these situations however because the reality and fantasy are not connected.

On the idea of a thesis I advised; there should be a topic that you are so burning with passion about that you're writing a thesis because there is no other way for you to learn about that subject!  Ask yourself, why do I feel I should write a thesis? Why do I and why don't I? It is a huge responsibility that one must fulfill on their own, unscheduled time and if it is not a topic you are fascinated by, it will be a burden.

On the concept of a tattoo that one is not sure about, this is a Permanent decision, ask yourself -what does it mean to have a tattoo? Why do I want a tattoo? Think about the ideas you have considered and what would that mean to have that on your body forever? I think you should only get a tattoo when there is something you want so badly to express as part of your human experience and your identity that there is no other forum than your own skin to share it!

On the idea of a relationship or marriage which is the permanent form; why do you feel you should be in it? What would it look like to be in it? Which of the expectations can be completed by 'a partner" anyone could fill that role? What is it about the idea of marriage that makes you think you want it? I look at it as; I should find a person that I enjoy so thoroughly that there is no other title for our behavior than "a relationship" and I would have to have a person that I beyond a shadow of a doubt wanted to spend the rest of my life with and felt that instinctual "knowing" only then would I consider the concept of a permanent union.

Ask yourself enough questions and answer yourself honestly, otherwise you are setting yourself up for disappointment and frustration.

Anthony Hamilton-Charlene

Change

Change means making something Different, you have to Do something Different to Change, the definition of Insanity is doing the Same thing over and Over and expecting a change in the Result, do something Different make a Change

©LollyB

"India Arie, Beautiful Day"

a great song to wake up to in the morning, I play it on repeat as I'm getting ready for the day.

Theres no official music video so I grabbed this one off youtube someone put together-how do you make a slideshow add music and post it?

a friends words

A friend of mine, Dan Miller, told me this once when I was feeling down and I found it reassuring and comforting. 


"The love you are looking for will find you"

©Lolly Berger

       nothing worth having comes easy

©LollyB

Discovery Channel "Life"

http://dsc.discovery.com/tv/life/


really amazing program, especially to watch at home with a nice tv.

Home Alone

this was a great movie, I remember we borrowed it from someone on VHS and ended up keeping it. Anyway a line from the movie popped into my head today and it took me awhile to place it. Kevin goes down into the basement and the radiator is big and scary looking and the grill opens up in a menacing cackle! he goes running up the stairs screaming. Later on however, he walks downstairs and looks straight at it, unafraid. He had been afraid of the robbers and cowered under his parents bed. Later on, he walks down the stairs and says:

"I'm not afraid anymore! did you hear me? I'm not afraid anymore!"

so, thats the line that visited me today and is accurate about how I feel now. so listen universe! did you hear me? I'm not afraid anymore!

Eat Pray Love

this book really touched me in many ways. My book will be in the same genre of self exploration, spirituality, travel and of course, love. I bookmarked parts of it that resonated with me particularly so I will periodically share them on here. 

I had a long discussion with my father about Faith versus logic. he is an atheist psychiatrist so I felt frustrated that he couldn't understand it but he did listen and hear me out. This piece below reminded me of what I was trying to communicate to him, that faith is such a blind force and there is no way to prove it, thats its something you feel not something you can understand but it involves trust in what is beyond your control.

The buddhist approach to it involves the law of detachment and the law of uncertainty, that all you can do is put your Intention out there and have Faith that it Will bring you what you need. Its ironic because the stronger you believe in it the more likely you are to see "proof" of it, yet if you are doubtful, you might miss all the signs. 

I only became spiritual in the past couple years after an experience in India. I am recently feeling a yearning to go back there....

"If faith were rational, it wouldn’t be, by definition, faith. Faith is belief in what you cannot see or prove or touch. Faith is walking face first and full speed into the dark, if we truly knew all the answers in advance as to the meaning of life and the nature of god and the destiny of our souls, our belief would not be a leap of faith and it would not be a courageous act of humanity, it would just be, a prudent insurance policy".  

"Destiny, I feel, is also a relationship, a play between divine grace and willfull self effort. Half of it you have no control over; half of it is abcsolutely in your hands, and your actions will show measureable consequence. Man is neither entirely a pupper of the gods, nor is he entirely the captain of his own destiny, hes a little of both. We gallop through our lives like circus performers balancing on two speeding side by side horses, one foot is on the horse called Fate, the other is on the horse called Free Will. And the question you have to ask very day is, which horse is which?which horse do I need to stop worrying about because its not under my control, and which do I need to steer with concentrated effort?"    

                                                                                                                                                                          Quotes by Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat Pray Love, (found image online)

psychology of love?

"Limerence is an involuntary cognitive and emotional state of intense romantic desire for another person. The term was coined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov to describe the ultimate, near-obsessive form of romantic love.^[1]

The concept is an attempt at a scientific study into the nature of romantic love. Limerence can often be what is meant when one expresses having intense feelings of attachment and preoccupations with the love object.

According to Tennov, there are at least two types of love: limerence, what she calls "loving attachment", and "loving affection," the bond that exists between an individual and his or her parents and children.^[2]

Limerence is characterized by intrusive thinking and pronounced sensitivity to external events that reflect the disposition of the limerent object towards the individual. Basically, it is the state of being completely carried away by unreasoned passion orlove; addictive love. Usually, one is inspired with an intense passion or admiration for someone.

Limerence is a common emotion characterized by unrealistic expectations of blissful passion without positive relationship growth or development. It is distinguished by a lack of trust, loyalty, commitment, and reciprocity. In the case of limerence, there is more often than not an obsessor and an object of desire, who may or may not be attainable.

It can be experienced as intense joy or as extreme despair, depending on whether the feelings are reciprocated. Limerence is sometimes also referred to as infatuation. In common speech, infatuation includes aspects of immaturity and extrapolating from insufficient information, and is usually short-lived."

Dear Prudence-Across the Universe

inner struggle

Head: logic, reason, rationality, judgement, learned, educated, smart, reasonable, science, psychology


Heart: passionate, strong, no doubts, powerful, faithful, brave, spirituality, belief, destiny


why won't they agree on something?! when those two are at odds I am left in a perpetual cycle where I feel stuck its an on going battle within me 


the only time they stop fighting is when I engage the law of uncertainty and the law of detachment and trust the universe that it knows what its doing and everything will work out. 


but sometimes its hard to get the two to stop fighting and go sit in two corners and Let it Be!

on friendship

"hold true friends with both your hands"

(found the photo online)


I find it amazing how in this world wherever you go in the whole world you can find incredible passionate whole loving people. It reaffirms my faith in humanity when I have seen one too many crime victims at work or seen a few too many broken relationships. To look at the photos on my wall, in an album or framed or to sift through the talismans I've acquired here and there, and remember those beautiful souls I have had the privilege of encountering, is reassuring in a powerful way. With the technology today it is so easy to stay in touch and reconnect perhaps decades later, when you have that connection through the heart, time means nothing. Friendship love is the strongest most powerful type because the trust and intimacy which develops is not subject to the comparison or competition which romantic love often is, there is no limit to the number of friends you can fall in friendship love with, you can be in love with dozens of people with none of the messy complications of romance. Even with a "perfect" lover one is not fulfilled without strong friendships because each person you connect with on a different wavelength of energy and each of those connections supplies a certain part of your Self and delivers your energy into another in precisely the way that resonates with them. I am continuously and endlessly in awe of the friendships I share with these people all over the world.

a quote for thought

“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is power; mastering yourself is true strength.”


This was said by the master Lao Tzu but I actually modified it.  it was originally written "mastering others is strength mastering yourself is true power" but I disagree, when I think Power I think of control over others and when I think Strength I think inner strength, so I changed it :-)

a site to hear meditation and spiritual recordings!

Sounds True was founded in 1985 by Tami Simon with a clear mission: to disseminate spiritual wisdom. Since starting out as a project with one woman and her tape recorder, we have grown into a multimedia publishing company with more than 80 employees, a library of more than 600 titles featuring some of the leading teachers and visionaries of our time, and an ever-expanding family of customers from across the world. In more than two decades of growth, change, and evolution, Sounds True has maintained its focus on its overriding purpose, as summed up in our Vision Statement:

Sounds True exists to inspire, support, and serve continuous spiritual awakening and its expression in the world.

Sounds True is an independent multimedia publishing company that embraces the world’s major spiritual traditions, as well as the arts and humanities, embodied by the leading authors, teachers, and visionary artists of our time. Our approach to publishing is not dependent on a single format or technology—rather, we strive with every title to preserve the essential “living wisdom” of the author, artist, or spiritual teacher. It is our goal to create products that not only provide information to a reader or listener, but that also embody the essential quality of a wisdom transmission between a teacher and a student.

http://shop.soundstrue.com/shop.soundstrue.com/Welcome.do

A great bedtime quote

I came across this somewhere a couple years ago and have hence shared it with friends. 

I printed it on transparent paper and put it on the wall at the foot of my bed so I read it before going to sleep. 

Some thoughts on being alone

My uncle said a great point this weekend over lunch he explained "the loneliest I've ever been is in a relationship that wasn't working". that really made me think because so many people are afraid to be alone so they settle for partners that may not be fulfilling just to make them feel connected.

I was laying in the park today in the sun on this summer day and contemplated some thoughts.

I am disappointed that the words alone and lonely are so similar. if they didn't overlap in the "Lone" part, I think people wouldn't associate the two together as much. Also I think the expression "by myself" should be "with myself" because you are not without anyone because You are a person. Example- who are you going with? I'm going with myself" this has a very different connotation because it implies that yourself is actual company. 

Do not think that being in a relationship makes you not lonely and do not think that being alone means you are lonely. Love yourself, enjoy spending time with yourself, key first step towards fulfillment/success/happiness whichever term you prefer.