With Myself

This culture puts a lot of emphasis simultaneously on the success of the individual and the shame of being alone. Our economic system, capitalism, is based on the concept that every person will strive for their own gain and thus the society benefits as a whole. Clearly, this has not been the case in this country's recent history. So much focus on the American Dream idea that we have become so obsessed with one persons journey to the top of the mountain that when he gets there he may just jump off, confronted with the isolation up there. This culture celebrates entrepreneurs who make millions, hemorrhaging money with which he may buy fanciful toys and playpens. We ogle at celebrities every action via instant sites like Twitter where one can feel close to these normal people who act in movies whom we have elevated to "stardom". At the same time however, one need only watch media around Valentines Day to understand the intense expectation of being part of a couple. TV shows make jokes about women who are single and celebrate with each other, often consisting of lamenting why they do not have boyfriends. Dating sites proliferate the internet with promises of "finding a partner", delivering the underlying message that being content with just yourself is undesirable and unacceptable.

I have spent the majority of the last year alone. I moved across the country away from friends and family with a boyfriend. He lived in a different town and was away for work over half the year. I could finally afford my own apartment and relished coming home to a quiet house where everything was still in the same place I had left it. As I consider the daunting concept of traveling another continent Alone, I need only remind myself that I have already spent most of my time in only my own company, as well as the reality that a traveler always meets and connects with fellow nomads.

It is somewhat, sad? not sure of the right term, to think that a very social 24 year old who used to have multiple invitations every weekend night with various groups of friends now spends most evenings alone in the house. Its not a situation I'd like to find myself in again anytime soon, I look forward to having a more active social agenda, but I am also proud of myself for having gotten through it and not succumbing to society's notion that being alone is a problem.